But I am starting to wonder if that is really true. Maybe its the sight of so much naked flesh. Maybe its the fact I haven't had a proper forceful banging in too many months. But I am starting to get quite turned on by all the activities and the people around me and not only the men. Zak comes past looking for volunteers to erect tents. Sally volunteers for both of us and we are pressed into the task of assembling poles as part of a highly efficient tent assembly line. The first pair unpacks the tent from its bag and separates the parts, the second arranges the groundsheet in its marked position. The third pair (us) then assemble the frame inside the tent while the fourth hammers home the stakes for the guy ropes. The process is swift and it takes only half an hour to erect a neat circle of ten tents to one side of the outer ring. Another team is at work on the other side but we have eight to their six and finish first. Sally and I watch the men beating tent posts into the ground. I swear, it never entered my head until then. I was in the bathroom, putting the pad in my underwear, when I suddenly went cold all over. I was so relieved, but I was scared, too — scared because if I let a boy put his thing in me again, I could in big trouble.And I wanted a boy to put his thing in me again.I went to my room and, taking my rosary beads out of my top drawer, I knelt down beside my bed and prayed. First, I thanked God for giving me another chance. Then, I promised Him I would be a good girl from now on. Or I would try to be good. I asked Him for the strength to resist my dirty urges — even the urge to touch myself, because I thought if I did that, it would so good that I would want to do the other.I thought maybe I could just do things with Lisa. I couldn’t get pregnant that way. But that was a sin, too, and after a while it might not be enough. I had to stop everything. It was easy to say that now, when I was still shaken up, but what about tomorrow? And the next day?.
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